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2. THINGS DO NOT ALWAYS GO ACCORDING TO PLAN
Most of us like to be in control of
our situations and what will happen. So we make plans
expecting them all to work out but they don't. We cannot
and will never always be in control.
So does this given mean we shouldn't bother to plan,
become pessimistic at the thought that it may never
happen that way anyway?
What we need to learn is that error
and errancy show us the path to humility and new horizons.
To accept and understand that when things don't go according
to plan there is a greater scheme at work by the universe
that will open other wonderful possibilities and opportunities.
Be intrigued and excited at the mystery - not disheartened.
"We must be willing to
give up the life we've planned so as to have the
life that's waiting for us."
Joseph Campbell |
3. LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS FAIR
It isn't - neither are people - including
ourselves. We know that we will win some and lose some.
However so often we retaliate - we react rather than
respond. We think that to 'get even', to punish, and
to destroy will justify the unfairness. Richo refers
to the FACE of the ego - FEAR, ATTACHMENT, CONTROL,
and ENTITLEMENT - and its upkeep is exhausting!
So when life dishes us lemons - we
need to learn to reconcile not retaliate, to respond
not react, to remain committed to fairness in spite
of the injustice. Our ego is not meant to die just be
tamed - i.e. its FACE can be changed. Learn to let the
Fear become Excitement about the Challenge; let Commitment
replace Attachment; let Getting Things Done Fairly replace
Control; let a Healthy Sense of Justice Without Retaliation
or hate replace Entitlement. You may be surprised at
what you get back!
"It is better to suffer
an injustice than to commit one."
Socrates |
4. PAIN IS PART OF LIFE
We all suffer from pain at some point
- physically, psychologically, spiritually or emotionally.
We experience this pain through loss or hurt - sometimes
self-inflicted, sometimes thrust upon us. Our capacity
to handle pain grows in accordance with our spiritual
and psychological work on ourselves - the more evolved
we are in this regard the better we cope.
So rather than cower in anticipation
of the hurt and pain that may come or resist risking
too much 'just in case' or limit our options because
we don't want to be hurt - see the events that happen
as revealing the truth of what life is about - very
often truths we may have been evading or denying. So
seek the significance of the pain/event not the reason
and in doing so one handles it which gives us the strength
to help others handle theirs.
"Your pain is the breaking
of the shell that encloses your understanding."
Kahlil Gibran |
5. PEOPLE ARE NOT LOVNG AND LOYAL
ALL THE TIME
We learn that people can lie, are hypocritical,
break promises, reject, dislike, disappoint and cause
hurt. A major step to becoming a mature adult is accepting
the fact that people are not who and what we want them
to be all the time. A further part of 'growing up' is
realising and accepting this 'given' - we may feel the
hurt but this does not destabilise us, undermine us,
destroy our confidence or our capacity to still give
and receive.
Simply put - appreciate the safe ferry
ride even if the ferryman proves to be a rascal. Don't
let who the other person is limit and restrict who you
truly are or what you are capable of giving or becoming.
"No-one can put you on
a downer if you don't want to go there."
Leo Buscaglia |
Accepting these GIVENS with grace,
humility and openness will only serve to develop you
emotionally and spiritually - your patience, forgiveness,
generosity, wisdom, appreciation, perseverance and love
will grow to much greater heights.
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