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FORGIVENESS |
It has been said that healing and forgiveness
go hand in hand. Forgiveness should be simple. However
we make it complicated...we blame, bear grudges and
make judgements rather than stepping back, opening our
hearts and letting go. When we do forgive and we stop
being the victim we begin the healing process. We need
to remind ourselves that forgiveness actually releases
us from the pain of the past and that the journey forward
brings peace of mind and greater happiness. Forgiveness
also frees us from resentment which is like a poison
coursing through our blood. I recall reading some time
back that to carry a grudge is like being stung to death
by one bee! That’s food for thought.
"Forgiveness
is a funny thing it warms the heart and cools the
sting."
- William Arthur Ward |
It has been proven that hate, anger
and resentment are amongst the most powerful and destructive
of all emotions. When these emotions are harboured the
body’s chemical balance is disrupted and the ‘fight
or flight’ responses stay on. This means that
the body is in a state of heterostasis –
a condition of imbalance. This impacts on one physically
by causing headaches, tension in the shoulders, fatigue
and stomach ailments…to name but some. Emotionally
one become a mess as well – all because one is
too self righteous, arrogant, stubborn or proud to forgive
– either others or oneself or both!
"True forgiveness is
one of the most healing, releasing and freeing
gifts we give to ourselves.
A life full of open forgiveness is a life of grace."
- Brandon Bays
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So in practical terms how does one
begin the ‘Forgiveness Journey’? By making
lists. I saw some of you wince at the thought!! No reward
without effort! Your list can be long or short –
depends on how much you’ve been harbouring and
for how long. Write down the name of the person and
what you are forgiving them for. It could be one thing
or many. You may not agree with the behaviour you are
forgiving however you are becoming accepting of the
person. What is probably the most difficult for most
people to accept is that forgiving someone else is about
you. It may surprise you that there
are many people out there who you resent, are bitter
about, envy or hate and yet they have no idea that you
are carrying these negative emotions!
| "He who cannot forgive
others breaks the bridge over which he must pass
himself."
- Thomas Fuller |
Once you have your list of others –
now write a list for yourself. Let your thoughts flow
and don’t cross anything off or analyse, just
write. Some examples:
I forgive myself for my attitude today…
I forgive myself for getting upset about such a trivial
issue…
I forgive myself for taking things personally…
The healing process of forgiveness
of oneself is that it releases guilt – the most
wasted emotion. You are your own life manager - no-one
else is. Dr Phil McGraw reminds us that life is managed
not cured and that life rewards action – the law
of attraction.
| "The weak can never
forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
- Mahatma Gandhi |
I hope and trust the benefits and positive
spin-offs of your Forgiveness Journey will manifest
themselves soon. Enjoy the Journey.
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